Hi Fuvians,

I've just sent you 93 pages of my YA WIP, Mourning Light, but don't run away in horror. I'm not looking for a detailed critique. I’ve added a voice in a kind of unusual way, and I need some feedback on whether that works - and you need a longish chunk to be able to say whether it gets tiresome or not. 

This voice is italicized and has wider margins on both sides; it mostly occurs at the ends of chapters. 

My questions: 

Who do you think the voice is speaking to? Does that person hear her? 

Who do you think the voice is, and when do you figure this out? 

What do you think about the frequency with which the voice appears? At one point she/he says quite a lot. Do you want or expect to hear more from him/her as time goes on? 

At a certain point a third voice comes in. Is this in any way confusing? 

Who do you think the story belongs to? Whose story do you care more about? Does this vary? 

Thanks, guys!!! 

Carolyn

Chasing Bo

I've emailed the new take of my MG fantasy novel Chasing Bo. You've seen this before, but it was a little different. 

If you'd like to go beyond the first 20 pages, I've included the whole chunk of what I have, but feedback on only the first 20 would still be awesome and greatly appreciated!

My main concerns: What's working? What isn't? Any ideas for how things could work even better?

Also, to give you a sense of scope, this draft will probably end up being about 90,000 words (a bit long for an MG). I do think I'm trying to do too much in the first 20 (as per usual). 

I also want to report that back in May I had it in my mind that I'd revise the draft I had over a few weeks. That idea quickly turned into a laugher! So much of revising that draft became cutting and massaging that I changed over to simply re-typing the draft and revising as I went. Re-typing is more fun. I don't think I'll be done with this draft any sooner than the end of September. 

Thanks, and I hope everyone's enjoying the home stretch of summer!

Jerkules Part 2

This is the second installment of Jerkules, my young YA fantasy with an attempt at young romance. All comments are welcome. The protag is 14 or 15

The new part starts on page 32. I included the first 31 pages as reference, if you find that helpful. You don't need to comment on that part.

I'll be emailing it shortly.

Thanks,
Alan

New Schedule!

Here's the new schedule! As always, if you'd like to switch, please let me know.

Bill has sent those pieces for the library project, so we're underway with this round!

Bill--June 26

Alan--July 17

Andy --August 7

Riley--August 28

Dave--Sept. 18

Carolyn --Oct. 9

To Kill or Not To Kill

I just sent you the latest chapter of To Kill or Not To Kill. I also attached the whole draft - four chapters, 66 pages, because you haven't seen it in a year and I thought you might want to skim it to refresh your memory. There are couple of highlighted passages in the full draft - ignore these - they just indicate things I need to fix.

Enjoy - I hope! Happy Easter!

Jerkules

I started writing this after Andy joked that since my turn was coming on Valentines Day I should write a romance. I thought that was pretty funny but then decided, why not? It starts out with a romantic interest but it's still fantasy. The protag is 14. This is brand new so I'm open to anything such as where you think the story is going or not going. What you know and would like to know or think you know. Hercules is really going to mess things up but I don't really know how yet. Any ideas?

New Schedule!

Bill just sent out his submission, which reminded me I should post the schedule. Here it is!

Bill     Jan. 24

Alan    Feb. 14

Carolyn   March 6

Andy       March 27

Poetry & Prose

Team, 

I have e-mailed my portion of an anthology I am participating in for your review. It is to be published in April using Amazon's Create Space. 

A Read Local group was created in Jamestown last year with two other local authors and we decided to create 

BBK, Three Authors of Jamestown, A Collection of Poetry, Essays and Short Fiction. I am providing the poetry. 

I attached a pdf draft of my section.  I also attached  drafts of the front and back cover for reference. The photos were taken in my library and 20% of what we sell will go to the libraries capital campaign. 

This has been an amazing experience and I encourage everyone of you to look to local partners for sharing publishing ideas. Keith Norman, the K in the title, has published a number of books with Create Space and took over the design and formatting process. We will have our first reading at the University of Jamestown on April 9th. 

I am very interested in what you have to say about the concept, the cover design, and my work. The poetry covers 1972 to 2015. 

About 25 pages of stuff. 

Bill