I've just sent you 93 pages of my YA WIP, Mourning Light, but don't run away in horror. I'm not looking for a detailed critique. I’ve added a voice in a kind of unusual way, and I need some feedback on whether that works - and you need a longish chunk to be able to say whether it gets tiresome or not.
This voice is italicized and has wider margins on both sides; it mostly occurs at the ends of chapters.
My questions:
Who do you think the voice is speaking to? Does that person hear her?
Who do you think the voice is, and when do you figure this out?
What do you think about the frequency with which the voice appears? At one point she/he says quite a lot. Do you want or expect to hear more from him/her as time goes on?
At a certain point a third voice comes in. Is this in any way confusing?
Who do you think the story belongs to? Whose story do you care more about? Does this vary?
Thanks, guys!!!
Carolyn
