The Moonswallower

Hey, everyone. I've sent you the piece. What do you know, think you know, and want to know?

Thanks!

Sludge 1st 20 Pages

I did a substantial rewrite of the first 20 pages of Sludge. I tried to incorporate the suggestions of author Dave Farland. I shortened the time before the fistball game. The biggest criticism I got was that I tortured Sludge too much. I took out the grizzly-dogs, maybe to bring in later. I also toned down the electrocution scene. I was told that it was too violent for middle-grade. I also changed Sludge's age to 14 from 12 to get away with the milder violence I still have. I still want to hit the MG audience but I also hope this will be a crossover with young YA. I've been told that publishers don't like the term upper middle-grade. I'll be emailing the 20 pages soon. Please tell me what your inner middle grade tells you. This might be a tough questions since you've already read it and might be sick of it, but does it keep your interest? Does it seem too violent for 10-12-year-olds? Will kids from the 13-16 year old crowd go for it? All other comments are very welcome.

Thanks a million,

Alan

August 23 Post

I will post the next pages of Tramp on the 24th. I was distracted by the new Sherlock on PPS tonight and you all know he is Tramp's favorite detective.

New Schedule!

Here it is! As always, if you'd like to change your spot in the order, just let me know and we can make the adjustment.

Bill     Aug. 23
Alan    Sept. 13
Riley   Oct. 4
Carolyn    Oct. 25
Andy      Nov. 15

Dark is the Night--Chapter 4

As usual, I'm not providing you much to go on, because I'd like to get your impressions on the writing as it stands (mostly to see if any of it actually makes sense to anyone!). Any and all comments are welcome, and I'd especially love some notes on voice and characterization. Thanks, as always, for reading!

Ri

Sludge Beginning

Yikes! I just saw the schedule again. I had it in my head my piece was due on the 15th. But this is good. Here's the Sludge beginning again. Sorry, I can't leave it alone. It's what will sell the book and I've made a lot of changes. I'm going to a week long writers' conference in June. I'm supposed to submit to the group and Dave Farland, the writer of Rune Lords and bunch of other stuff, by April 17th. Any feedback before then so I can make changes before I submit would be helpful. I'll email the first 23 pages tonight. All comments are appreciated. What stands out as good or needing change or elimination?
Thanks

New Schedule

Hey, everyone. Below is the new schedule. If ever you'd like to switch etc., just let me know!

March 15th: Bill

April 5th: Alan

April 26th: Riley

May 17th: Andy

June 7th: Carolyn

June 28th: Dave

Detective Extraordinaire

I am sending the manuscript as it exists today. The last piece sent in November was 4 chapters and 16 pages. This is the revised 4 and 13 more, short, short chapters. Read what you have time for. If I persevere, I will finish in May.

The story is now focused on the search for Tramp's sister.  Unknown to Tramp, she may have been living only a few blocks away, but now has disappeared.

I am looking for responses to the number of characters and their importance to the story.

Dave's new untitled project

What do you think you know? What do you want to know? And where do you need just a little more (or less) for purposes of clarity and personal investment?

To Kill or Not to Kill

Comments here :).

Dates for the rest of this round

Hi all,
Just posting the remaining dates for this round here on the blog:
Carolyn on January 25th
Dave on Feb. 15th