Welcome Carolyn! And the new schedule's here!!!

Hi all,


First, a welcome to Carolyn Griffith!

Carolyn, I think you may know everyone (Bill Kennedy, Riley Conway, Alan Markham, and Dave Revere). Everyone, I believe you know Carolyn.

And with that, let's start another round! Here's the schedule:

Sept. 1st: Riley
Sept. 22nd: Alan
Oct. 13: Bill
Nov. 3: Andy
Nov. 24: Dave

We'll run the trading as usual: 1) The writer emails the group their piece, which may be up to 20 pages, and write a post on the blog about what their concerns are; 2) The other group members read the piece, post feedback to the blog, and often email the writer a version of the piece that has comments in the margins; 3) And sometimes further discussion takes place in the "comments" section of the blog.

Dave, a little help: Could you email me and/or Carolyn about how Carolyn can be made a user of the blog? Thanks!!!

Looking forward to reading everyone's work!!!

A bit more of THE GHOUL!!!!!

Hello, fellows!

I've emailed you some of The Ghoul, this section from a new draft. Dayne Carmichael (his name in former drafts was Nick Bannon Somethingorother) has, in the first few chapters, come to a dead end in his search for his mother's killer.

In this chapter, the search is very much back on...

Please let me know what's working, what isn't, what possibilities are here, what's confusing/could be clearer, and what your Spidey-storytelling sense is telling you about how this story's going!

Thank you, guys!!!

Andy

The Object

Just sent 11 pages. Loved writing it. Will do more.

Neighborhood Ninja

I could use help finding opportunities to give it more punch, make it more clear, and to trim it without sacrificing anything important. Any comments are always appreciated.


Thanks,
Alan

Eddie and Goob - last time!!

Hey Write Fuers,

Here is my submission.  Eddie and Goob is finally at the stage of sending out to agents.  I ask you to look at it one more time and especially see it from an agent's point of view, if you can!  I'm attaching the first and the last chapter.  The first chapter you know very well by now.  The last chapter is brand new.  I wrote it in the last three weeks.  But the whole thing has seen pretty significant revision since you saw it.  Lots of new language and expressions and Eddie's father is now a significant part of the story.  It might be a bit difficult for you to go straight from the first to the last chapter like this.  Just remember that in chapter four (the chapter before the last chapter) Goob gets unseen by the neighbor boy, resulting in a black hole.  He still feels a little of the trauma of that, despite being rescued.

I fully intend to send this out to agents for real after this, so please spare me no critique!  

Thanks so much!

Dave

New Schedule!!!

Posting the schedule in this easy-to-view place!

April 28th: Dave

May 19th: Riley

June 9th: Alan

June 30th: Bill

July 21st: Andy

Sludge

Hey Guys,

I finished a draft of Sludge. It turned out to be about 300 pages. I've also made some changes to the begging to make it jive with the what the rest of the book became. I'll also be submitting the first 35 pages to Tor Publishing so I'd really appreciate it if you'd gave another look at the first 20 pages with the new material. I'll be emailing it shortly. Does it flow with the new material? Does it make sense? How can I make it better? All comments on anything are always appreciated.

Thanks,
Alan