Sludge January

Hey Team,

I'm sending about 20 pages of Sludge. It takes up from where the last installment ended with Sludge in the Rocky Mountains. He's hiding in the parking lot outside a store in North Fork, Idaho. He's on the run after escaping from Mathew's compound. All the usual questions apply. I also feel like it's kind of bloated. Any tips on shortening, tightening and getting rid of anything not needed would be appreciated. Also, how can I up the tension and keep it exciting and enjoyable to read?

Thanks,
Alan

New Schedule

Hi everyone,

Here's the schedule to take us into 2014!

Riley          Dec. 29th
Alan           Jan. 19th
Bill               February 9th
Andy           March 2nd
Dave             March 23rd
Carolyn         April 13th

If you'd like to move up or back for any reason, please let me know and we can make the adjustment.

Wake Up - YA short story

This is my first attempt at YA.  It's a sci-fi/horror kind of thing.  Not sure I love it.  Maybe it's needs more clarity, or more punch in the language.  Is it suspenseful at all?  Any ideas on how to make it better?

Killing Conrad Gohl

Hi everyone,

I've sent along the opening of Killing Conrad Gohl. What cool occultish magical possiblities do you see envision for the story? And are there any movies and books you'd suggest I read for information and inspiration?

Thanks, Write Fu!!!

Sludge

Well group,

This is another installment of Sludge. The first four pages are a revised beginning. It could start in at least three different places. Tell me what you think about where you think is the best place.

The rest is a continuation of what you've already read. Glade, who is now called Sludge by his friends, has escaped from the compound. He is at the hospital where a nice family took him. He has negotiated for some clothes and money with the doctor. Now he is waiting in a hospital room for the doctor to get 20 more dollars.

Carolyn, I'll also send you the first 84 pages to read if you feel so inclined.

Thanks,
Alan

A Few Pages of Simon

For those of you familiar with Simon's story, this scene is (chronologically) first. It's a lead-in to the kitchen scene with Mom, in which they discuss the mysterious RV by the park.  But this chapter will actually be one of the last in the novel (if used at all). Darn disjointed sequence of events.

Carolyn, you might be a little lost, but that's okay. I'm curious how this works standing alone, anyway (without any knowledge of these characters, their histories, or what's to come for them). 

I did this as a free-write, trying to delve deeper into Simon's history and psyche.  Any and all feedback is appreciated.

Write on!

Ri

Welcome Carolyn! And the new schedule's here!!!

Hi all,


First, a welcome to Carolyn Griffith!

Carolyn, I think you may know everyone (Bill Kennedy, Riley Conway, Alan Markham, and Dave Revere). Everyone, I believe you know Carolyn.

And with that, let's start another round! Here's the schedule:

Sept. 1st: Riley
Sept. 22nd: Alan
Oct. 13: Bill
Nov. 3: Andy
Nov. 24: Dave

We'll run the trading as usual: 1) The writer emails the group their piece, which may be up to 20 pages, and write a post on the blog about what their concerns are; 2) The other group members read the piece, post feedback to the blog, and often email the writer a version of the piece that has comments in the margins; 3) And sometimes further discussion takes place in the "comments" section of the blog.

Dave, a little help: Could you email me and/or Carolyn about how Carolyn can be made a user of the blog? Thanks!!!

Looking forward to reading everyone's work!!!