I have sent my latest. It will be the shortest submission to date. I plead everything at work
has gotten in the way as well as the fact that I have revised this piece a lot.
I want to know what you think of the premise.
It is based partly on an actual event in North Dakota.
I have no outline, no middle, no end, just an idea. No more clues. Let me
know what your think.
ReplyDeleteBill,
I’m just wrapping up a long summer vacation driving all over California, but I’m finally taking some time to write a few comments.
I’ve always liked Tramp; he’s my kind of dog. I also like the way you jump right into this story with a crisis, and with the human, Collin, coming to Tramp for help. It’s a good reminder of who Tramp is and that these two rely on each other.
I think I also like your prologue. I know people say it’s naughty to use them, but many greats like M.T. Anderson do often use them. What I like about yours is that it almost sounds more like a creed or even an oath or a promise than a prologue. It’s something that could be used at the beginning of each of your Tramp books to set the tone. You might consider playing with it a bit more to make it sound even more creed-like.
You might also consider adding a bit to your concluding sentence that tells us Tramp’s species; maybe something along the lines of, “My name is Tramp Kennedy. I am a detective; and a dog.” Not necessarily in those words, but you get the idea.
I look forward to seeing where you take us with Tramp next.
Alan
Bill,
ReplyDeleteThe best way I can describe this prologue is "high quality, richly imagined writing." Rich--and thorough--imagining produces rich writing. I came across a paraphrasing of something Salman Rushdie said that went something like this: "The key to writing is concentration, not inspiration. It requires deep attention to your characters, to the world they live in, and to the story you have to tell." Tramp feels like a character who has received "deep attention" from his writer (below I discuss what an awesome character Tramp is). Your recent Tramp submissions demonstrate how richly you've imagined him.
Alan notes how this prologue has an amazing creed-like or oath-like tone to it, and when I read that comment, I knew right away what he was talking about. In my comments, I had mentioned how Tramp has a strong sense of "ethical purpose." He also has brains and imagination and compassion (he has a hunch that Curly didn't just escape, that Curly was likely taken, because he'd taken the time to get to know Curly). Because Tramp has noble purpose, I know he's going to devote himself to this case--he has the passion a hero needs to sustain him/her through those moments when it looks they'll fail in their quest. His brains and imagination and compassion indicate he's able to solve really, really tough cases, and I bet this is going to be a case that will test Tramp's limits. Such a character is not created off the cuff. Such a character grows out of much concentration.
Thinking about what kind of story this is--what specific type--may help you imagine possibilities for plot, scene, and structure. Of course this is a detective story, but it seems to be a specific kind of detective story--a "missing person" story ("missing animal," actually!). So it may help to think of questions such as "What typically happens in a detective story in which the detective is working on a 'missing persons' case?" and "What are typical events in a story involving a 'missing persons' case?" One event that happens in probably almost every 'missing persons' story is that the detective finds the missing person--or finds out what happened to them. This event, I imagine, should be huge--some enormous reveal. Also, I wonder what typical strategies detectives use to find missing persons. (And as I think about this "missing persons" kind of story, I'm starting to think about my story "The Ghoul," which contains a missing persons case...)
I also love your cast list. It makes me marvel at how in the Tramp stories you've developed this fascinating society that involves a sort of underworld inhabited by the animals, and Tramp, because of his relationship with Colin, is able to move about both the animal and human segments of society.
Very cool, Bill! And great work!
Hi Bill,
ReplyDeleteI’m excited for this new adventure with Tramp!
I agree with what the guys have said (even about considering Tramp my kinda dog--even though I'm more of a reptile person!). I, too, love the language and sense of purpose (perhaps even urgency) in the prologue. And it does read like a creed/credo, or perhaps a mission statement. As Alan notes, prologues are often viewed as "naughty" but can, just as often, be useful. I don't know that this is a prologue, though. I think it is useful, and I think it informs the story, but I wonder if you can call it something else? I see it as something that can, perhaps, appear at the beginning of each Tramp book, briefly introducing the character and setting the tone. Just a thought.
I also love the energy in this opening scene. It’s very exciting, especially for those who’ve read the first book and are familiar with the characters. I’m concerned for Colin immediately. You’ve pulled me in, and I’m ready to read!
I wonder if Colin might be a little more concerned about the welfare of the goat, though? Don’t get me wrong--he’s a kid and will be worried about the most immediate thing (which, to him, is the success of this play in which he’s very invested), but could he at least wonder aloud at what happened to the goat, express concern for his well-being? Maybe it’s even Colin’s concern that gets Tramp thinking that maybe the goat DIDN’T just wander off as goats, and dogs, are apt to do. Maybe that’s why he thinks it might be a job for T.K. and Associates. Just (another) thought.
Other than that, I say GO for it! You’ve got a lot of energy and excitement generated in just a few pages. Use it. Follow it. I want to know what happened to Curly, and I’m sure I’m not the only one!
Write on!
Riley